I need to get better at this. I mean c'mon. You know what I mean. When your I'll-write-more-once-I-have-a-day-off excuse loses it's meaning and you're ideal writing situation criteria gradually becomes increasingly too specific: "I'll write more when I'm completely free, it's raining outside, no one needs me for anything, I've eaten lunch, I have coffee, my room is clean, my bed is made, and pigs are flying, etc..."

There's really no special topic. I'm still leading a life wherein I'm surrounded by people I love and admire yet I'm constantly scrambling to remain calm and not forfeit my sanity to the inner control freak which harbors within every thought I have. It's rather comical, actually. If Collin wasn't so exquisitely level-headed, I probably would've wound up in a fetal position with the anxiety-ridden thoughts of a pseudo-hypochondriac.

I know about 99% of my fears are irrational and therefore I know that a slight back cramp is most likely not a kidney infection, an itchy throat isn't bronchitis, a gas bubble isn't food poisoning, etc.. I know my mind prefers to run wild and reckless rather than hang loose with rationality, but most times there's a very narrow window wherein I can prune the thoughts when they begin to grow. It's almost as if during treatment all my health scares made me want to do everything and anything to take care of myself.

How do I get past it?

So I guess I can scream and cry and flip out all I want but it won't change the fact that I have a cold or a headache or anything of the sort. I just have to trust that if I do all I can do in any situation, I can't control anything else.

Then I move on and get over it.

Do you have similar struggles? Need any advice?

Comment or message me! :)

Karsyn DuPree19 Comments