Imagine the best moment in your memory: find the happiest version of you you've ever known, living the moment that proved your heart could feel and your heart could fly. Find that memory that made you doubt life could be any sweeter but the same memory that made you curious as to what could disprove your doubts.
Now imagine that feeling flooding through you an infinite number of times. Imagine joy and fear and anything and everything in between filling you from your toes to the crown of your head as you realize you can't speak to fulfill your mind and certainly not your heart.
You're in love.
Okay, so if I say I had no idea what was coming on Monday, January 13, 2014, I'd be a liar. Hey, you want the real story, right? Better get comfortable. It's rather lengthy.
So, I had an inkling of knowledge as to the grand scheme of Collin pondering our engagement. Sometimes hints are what we need. Sometimes hints are lights at the end of the tunnel.
And sometimes you have a sixth sense for the one you love and uh you just know things.
The night before he proposed, Collin was acting odd. He had walked me to my room and was stalling before he said goodnight. I began to prod him as to why his disposition had shifted so suddenly once I said I was going to sleep. He said he couldn't sleep yet. He said he had to go talk to his parents.
"You know, in case I want to do it on tour or after tour..."
I squealed. Then, as not to discourage him from his plan, I told him I didn't want to talk about it. Needless to say, I was freaking out.
Now, everyone knows this drill. Ya gotta talk to the parents before you propose, right? At least this is what ya girl thought as she sat in bed wide-eyed (and somewhat terrified) as to what the morning would bring.
Turns out, Collin had missed his window that night. His parents were asleep and I knew he was worried. Honestly, I was too.
Okay, I was bummed! We were leaving for tour in two days and I was impatient. I'm sorry! I'm a girl! I'm human! Now, I was convinced it wouldn't be for another several weeks.
That morning we did routine things: ate breakfast, cleaned, lounged with family. I asked Collin to go on a walk like we always do and he denied me. He said his mind was too focused on needing to talk to his parents.
I hid my excitement/terror and ran to do mindless things as to make it seem as though I was distracted and not clinging to every mumble through the wall I could make out. Which, realistically, I was doing.
I took a shower, painted my toenails, deep conditioned my hair, cleaned my room, got dressed, and still nada.
He was STILL gone.
Curling hair. He likes my hair curly. Putting on a blue dress. He likes this dress. Spraying perfume. He likes the way this smells.
I practically screamed "PROPOSE TODAY!"
Eventually he came into my room, showered and looking ridiculously handsome. He told me I looked very pretty and gave me a big kiss.
I asked him what he wanted to get for lunch and he said he didn't care. I asked him if he wanted to get dinner later and he said he didn't care. I asked him if he just wanted to eat at home and he said sure.
NO PLANS?!?! Not today. It's not today. I died a little.
We ate lunch in the kitchen and he suggested coffee, so off we went. In the car, he acted normal and I refused to ask him what had happened. I asked him a few questions about what he wanted to do and got nothing. We got coffee and went to the mall.
Almost all hope was lost. I bought boots, we strolled idly through our D-list mall, ran into some friends, then made our way back to the car.
Wait a minute. It was 4:45. Almost sunset time. The day was practically gone and it was getting colder. I suggested we go to the park to go on a walk before we lost our chance. I didn't want to waste the outfit of my life at the park, but something told me that's where we needed to go. He gladly agreed and off we went.
Before getting out of the car, I hesitated. "So, how'd it go earlier?"
We got out and began our typical route: under a bridge and around a road that ran by my old high school. We talked about how he taught me to play chess at the park on one of our first dates.
We made our way up a wooded and unpaved hill and he stopped walking. He held me close and asked me if I had any idea how much he loved me. He looked so remarkably flawless and I felt like we had just met all over again.
After about thirty minute of unbelievably romantic words, he stopped.
"Will you marry me already?"
He told me so much. It's all staying in my heart (though, for memorable purposes, I wish I had thought to record it, just so that I could listen to it over and over for the rest of my life).
So, the wedding's on! I can't believe it. I literally can NOT believe it. Plans are in the beginning stages, colors, time of year, dress, etc.
Words cannot express how grateful I am for all the words of congratulations! I want to hug every single one of you and I wish I could have every one of you at the wedding! I hope I'm able to see at least some of you at these next few shows, and if you're there, please come say hello at the Merch table. I'll be the girl with the "Marriage Fund" tip jar!
If anyone has any letter or anything they'd like to send to Collin and I regarding the wedding, feel free! We're exponentially grateful for all of the support and whatever you send will be met with a letter of thanks and love :).
Our address is:
221 E Wells St Tyler, tx 75701
You can expect plenty of posts from here on out; blogging helps me keep my sanity in times of stress and feeds my excitement in times of joy. Knowing that we're 20 years old and we are going to be paying for a wedding and a future is rather stressful, but knowing we'll be together for the rest of our lives is breathtaking!